Too Much to Drink

By Kevin Greene

The Krats have come out to play! The senatorial elections of 2010 are looking to be some of the bloodiest ever. The Krats are locked in a massive brawl... let me show it to you.

Perhaps the worst, hardest, blood-and-gutsiest Krat primary to date is Pennsylvania, where incumbent Sen. Arlen Specter (pictured lying on the floor) and Rep. Joe Sestak (throwing chair) are at each-others throats.

According to Specter, Sestak is "ineffective" and "opportunistic". He's attacked Sestak for not registering to vote until he started his congressional campaign in 2006, and attacking him for how many votes he's missed while looking at the senate. Sestak has been just as venomous, naturally referring to his long term Republican record and then his recent switch to Democrat.

It looks just as evil in Kentucky, where Lt. Gov. Dan Mongiardo (attempting a dropkick) and state Attorney General Jack Conway (narrowly missing Mongiardo's kick)have been slugging it out for quite some time.

In the past week, Mongiardo accused Conway of investing millions of dollars in a Texas energy company “that favors natural gas over developing Kentucky coal”, and thenfor failing to disclose his purchases of stock in the firm. Conway turned it around and accused Mongiardo of also investing in energy against Kentucky.

Meanwhile, the race in Colorado is only just beginning to get interesting. Appointed Sen. Michael Bennet (falling backward) and former state house speaker Andrew Romanoff (triumphantly landing a punch) have started slamming each other now, too.

And, we can't leave out Illinois; the senators there have their dukes up (left; former Chicago inspector General David Hoffman, right; State Treasurer and front-runner Alexi Giannoulias.) Hoffman charged Giannoulias as "unelectable" because of his past career as a banker, and a pollster of his has also said that Giannoulias “would put Barack Obama’s former Senate seat in extreme jeopardy for the Democrats.”

What does all this mean for us conservatives? A tough primary often leaves the winner drained of cash and worn out from a fight, whereas the opponents are ready and willing to bring it on, like uncontested Republican candidate Pat Toomey in Pennsylvania's seat. It means, that there's fighting inside the enemy camp, it means we can organize and ambush, and it means the Republicans can come out on top in 2010: a sight I know I want to see.

Current Hemerrhoid

By Kevin Greene

An article by POLITICO flamboyantly describes Democrat Arkansas Sen. Blanche Lincoln's decision on the days leading to the procedural vote on the health care debate which happened yesterday. In the end, Lincoln placed the final vote on the health care bill, which was (thankfully) just a vote to hear the bill. Lincoln turned out to be the swing vote; the crucial 60th senator to vote to pass the bill.

POLITICO opens their article with this; "[Lincoln] was a day away from casting a vote that could change her political career when she got a phone call from someone who knew what she was going through.

“I know you’re tired, but we need a glass of wine,” Sen. Mary Landrieu (D-La.), the fellow centrist who also had not yet announced her position, said she told Lincoln."

Two other Krat (I'm trying this term out so I don't have to write 'Democrat" all the time. You like?) senators escorted Lincoln and Landrieu to dinner at an Italian restaurant, at which, according to Lincoln, health care was only briefly discussed.

According to POLTICO, she had already made up her mind at that point anyway. However, she reportedly warned Krats that she wasn't a confirmed vote.

It was speculated that she definitely waited too long, as her indecisiveness was used as cannon fodder from her 2010 opponents.

Lincoln would have been the ultimate 'Idiot' from Idiots & Patriots, had she been the swing vote on passing the entire health care bill. Because this was just a bill to discuss the health care plan, Lincoln's vote was merely annoying. Still, centrists never fly with me. Come on, Louisiana! Throw out your moderate centrists and put in a real conservative! Perform the hemorrhoidectomy!