Monday, November 23, 2009

Too Much to Drink



By Kevin Greene

The Krats have come out to play! The senatorial elections of 2010 are looking to be some of the bloodiest ever. The Krats are locked in a massive brawl... let me show it to you.

Perhaps the worst, hardest, blood-and-gutsiest Krat primary to date is Pennsylvania, where incumbent Sen. Arlen Specter (pictured lying on the floor) and Rep. Joe Sestak (throwing chair) are at each-others throats.

According to Specter, Sestak is "ineffective" and "opportunistic". He's attacked Sestak for not registering to vote until he started his congressional campaign in 2006, and attacking him for how many votes he's missed while looking at the senate. Sestak has been just as venomous, naturally referring to his long term Republican record and then his recent switch to Democrat.

It looks just as evil in Kentucky, where Lt. Gov. Dan Mongiardo (attempting a dropkick) and state Attorney General Jack Conway (narrowly missing Mongiardo's kick)have been slugging it out for quite some time.

In the past week, Mongiardo accused Conway of investing millions of dollars in a Texas energy company “that favors natural gas over developing Kentucky coal”, and thenfor failing to disclose his purchases of stock in the firm. Conway turned it around and accused Mongiardo of also investing in energy against Kentucky.

Meanwhile, the race in Colorado is only just beginning to get interesting. Appointed Sen. Michael Bennet (falling backward) and former state house speaker Andrew Romanoff (triumphantly landing a punch) have started slamming each other now, too.

And, we can't leave out Illinois; the senators there have their dukes up (left; former Chicago inspector General David Hoffman, right; State Treasurer and front-runner Alexi Giannoulias.) Hoffman charged Giannoulias as "unelectable" because of his past career as a banker, and a pollster of his has also said that Giannoulias “would put Barack Obama’s former Senate seat in extreme jeopardy for the Democrats.”

What does all this mean for us conservatives? A tough primary often leaves the winner drained of cash and worn out from a fight, whereas the opponents are ready and willing to bring it on, like uncontested Republican candidate Pat Toomey in Pennsylvania's seat. It means, that there's fighting inside the enemy camp, it means we can organize and ambush, and it means the Republicans can come out on top in 2010: a sight I know I want to see.

Sunday, November 22, 2009

Current Hemerrhoid



By Kevin Greene

An article by POLITICO flamboyantly describes Democrat Arkansas Sen. Blanche Lincoln's decision on the days leading to the procedural vote on the health care debate which happened yesterday. In the end, Lincoln placed the final vote on the health care bill, which was (thankfully) just a vote to hear the bill. Lincoln turned out to be the swing vote; the crucial 60th senator to vote to pass the bill.

POLITICO opens their article with this; "[Lincoln] was a day away from casting a vote that could change her political career when she got a phone call from someone who knew what she was going through.

“I know you’re tired, but we need a glass of wine,” Sen. Mary Landrieu (D-La.), the fellow centrist who also had not yet announced her position, said she told Lincoln."

Two other Krat (I'm trying this term out so I don't have to write 'Democrat" all the time. You like?) senators escorted Lincoln and Landrieu to dinner at an Italian restaurant, at which, according to Lincoln, health care was only briefly discussed.

According to POLTICO, she had already made up her mind at that point anyway. However, she reportedly warned Krats that she wasn't a confirmed vote.

It was speculated that she definitely waited too long, as her indecisiveness was used as cannon fodder from her 2010 opponents.

Lincoln would have been the ultimate 'Idiot' from Idiots & Patriots, had she been the swing vote on passing the entire health care bill. Because this was just a bill to discuss the health care plan, Lincoln's vote was merely annoying. Still, centrists never fly with me. Come on, Louisiana! Throw out your moderate centrists and put in a real conservative! Perform the hemorrhoidectomy!

Thursday, November 19, 2009

An American Patriot




By Tony Ciarlante

I am an American Patriot. Let me define what I mean by this. Technically, anyone born in the USA is an American, just like anyone born in Russia is a Russian; those born in Mexico are Mexicans, etc. HOWEVER, being an American or calling yourself an American means so much more than just being born elsewhere and calling oneself an Italian, or a German, or a Cambodian – saying that you are an American says a bit more to those others, and to ourselves.

Now, defining myself as an American Patriot I am highlighting that “other” meaning. A person doesn’t have to be born in the USA to be an American – they can emigrate here and adopt the American values of freedom and individuality, entrepreneurship, the Judeo-Christian morals of honesty, hard work, fairness, compassion, and genuine goodness.

That’s what makes an American different, that’s what sets us apart from the rest of the world. Our belief with the founders of this nation that, “We hold these truths to be self-evident that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.”

There are no caste systems here; no one is born into a situation that they don’t have the freedom to change, and ample opportunity to make those changes. No lords and masters, no peasants, no serfs, no untouchables – here we have opportunity for all. Anyone can come to America and leave all of that stuff behind and find the freedom to express their own individuality in the pursuit of whatever makes them happy. Believing in these ideals is what makes me an American Patriot.

As an American Patriot I believe with the Founders that these unalienable rights – Rights that no man can put a lien against – come to people from the Creator, from God. God Himself has endowed human beings with the Right to Life, the Right to Liberty, the Right to pursue their own Happiness. Here in America no one can force you to be a farmer, or a machine operator, a truck driver, an electrician, a janitor – or force you to live in a city, or on a farm, or tear you away from family and relocate you to live and work thousands of miles from home, family and friends as soviet style communism did and as many governments still do today.
In America today we don’t even have military conscription; even our soldiers who defend us are all volunteers, when practically every other nation on earth has a military draft, forcing their youth into involuntary military service averaging two years. Why don’t we force people in America to serve their country this way? Because to the best of our ability it is our duty to live up to these ideals, to secure these individual God-given Rights that this nation was founded upon, and we only draft when absolutely necessary.

As an American Patriot I believe that the greatest words ever penned by man to describe the foundations of human government were written by Thomas Jefferson. Molded by John Adams and Benjamin Franklin they are found at the start of the second paragraph in the American Declaration of Independence and they are the very foundation upon which this country stands, and I quote,

“We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness. — That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, — That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government.”

After a terrible, bloody nine year long war of independence, in which 1 out of every 3 men in the colonies fought, and 1 in every 8 men died; during which time the people suffered economic collapse, hyper inflation, shortages, rampant disease and epidemics, famines, and in some cases civilians were made military targets so that there were as many civilian deaths from the war as military deaths; after nine bloody years of this the ideals expressed in the Declaration of Independence prevailed, and as Abraham Lincoln so eloquently put it, “Brought forth on this continent, a new nation, conceived in Liberty, and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal.”

Was it perfect? No – it was run by imperfect human beings, it couldn’t be perfect – but it was by far the best, founded on the Divinely inspired ideals to which America struggled to attain. This nation tore itself apart in a horrible conflict – the American Civil War – brother against brother, father against son, battling over the ideals set forth in our Constitution as President Lincoln attempted to right the injustices of his day and form a more perfect union.

Abraham Lincoln summed up that conflict eloquently when dedicating the graveyard of the soldiers who had died at the costliest battle in the Civil War, not far from here in Gettysburg, Pennsylvania. Lincoln’s opening remarks on that bloody field were, “Four score and seven years ago our fathers brought forth on this continent, a new nation, conceived in Liberty, and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal. Now we are engaged in a great civil war, testing whether that nation or any nation so conceived and so dedicated, can long endure.”

Looking out over the graves of the fallen, President Lincoln finished with this, “That from these honored dead we take increased devotion to that cause for which they gave the last full measure of devotion -- that we here highly resolve that these dead shall not have died in vain -- that this nation, under God, shall have a new birth of freedom -- and that government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth.”

As an American Patriot I revere what those who sacrificed so much over our history to establish and maintain through struggle and hardship and wars; testing our resolve and our dedication to these ideals, as the War for Independence; again when the British invaded in the War of 1812 and burned Washington, DC; and the great test of the American Civil War.

Wars for our very survival fought by us, our fathers, and grandfathers during the last century: World War One, World War Two, and the 50 year struggle known as The Cold War.

All of this struggle and sacrifice birthed a country and bequeathed to us a new nation, a republic, founded upon a Constitution based on the ideals of the Declaration of Independence for which so many died. A Constitution of the people, by the people, and for the people with three central themes:

Federalism, which is the dividing up of governmental powers and authorities so that there is no one central power, no king, no tyrant, or dictator, or despot. No one group or ruling class in control.

Republicanism, which is governing a nation as a republic, emphasizing liberty, popular sovereignty and civic virtue practiced by citizens, it is the rule of law. It is individual rights under a Bill of Rights which it is the duty of government to protect. As Founding Father John Adams defined a republic, “A government of laws, and not of men.”

And the third principal was limited government. That the federal government would only have those powers that were expressly given to it by the Constitution, to do those things that the state and local governments can’t, like national defense, and foreign policy.

As a 17 year old American Patriot I swore an oath to uphold and defend that precious Constitution of the United States from all enemies, foreign and domestic, as I voluntarily became a citizen-soldier and a guardian of the people and I went off to war, as my father had done before me, to defend our Republic, our Constitution, and the ideals of the Declaration of Independence. That was 35 years ago now.

Maintaining and strengthening these ideals and beliefs throughout all of my adult life, of liberty, equality, republicanism, God-given Rights under rule of law upon which nothing and no one can infringe – my political alignment is now defined as “Conservative”, and for the past two decades it would be further defined as “Christian Conservative.”

We are at a critical crossroads in our country, a turning point which shall decide our destinies as Americans and the future of our next generation. The next several months will be vitally important to shaping these future destinies.

When next I write, I shall expand upon and define what a conservative is, because without an understanding of whom and what we are, we’ve already lost the struggle for the identity of America.

Think upon my words and reflect upon what patriotism and conservatism mean to you, and next time I will show you why they are worth fighting for.

Your Weekly Dose of Weird



By Pierce Martin

An October issue of Time magazine sported an amazingly interesting article. It was dedicated to none other than environmentally-friendly sex objects… okay… whatever... This just goes to show you how sad and pathetic the environmentalists REALLY are.

Ok, first of all, my question is: how many people who use sex toys and/or birth control products are going to care about whether or not they are actually "green"?!? How much of a market for these things could there possibly be?

One example of "green" birth control products is NFP, which stands for Natural Family-Planning. Correct me if I'm wrong here but doesn't that sound like pre-emptive abortion?

Well, apparently not to the fanatically pro-life Catholics (some who don’t even allow condoms). The Catholic Church has smiled upon the Natural Family-Planning, calling it moral, organic, and green.

Apparently, the reason we care about natural birth control is because of ingesting potentially harmful chemicals and pooping them out, polluting our streams. Honestly… it already went through your body and it didn’t kill you. I think there are many more things present in your fecal matter that could kill fish than remnants of RU-486.

One user is a New York actress (which by the way, that's two strikes against her right there) stopped taking pills because of her concern about the excess of estrogen in her body. "I do yoga every day and eat vegetarian," she says. "Why wouldn't I go green in this area of my life?" Uhhh, maybe because it’s…uhhh… stupid? Jeez, use a condom, for Pete’s sake!

What? Sorry? You can’t use a condom? Why is that? Because they aren’t biodegradable?

That’s right. Latex condoms take forever to disintegrate into nothingness (not to mention they could reek havoc on the occasional field mouse). So, never flush your condoms down the toilet.

But, obviously, that’s not good enough for enviro-whackos. We must create biodegradable condoms made of sheepskin (You murdered a sheep for that? Isn’t that some sort of enviro-crime in itself?) that will become mush much quicker.

But for you vegans out there who can’t even handle the sheepskin, it’s no problem! We’ve taken out the dairy protein in latex, and replaced it with cocoa powder. Enjoy!

Another thing that the liberals are worried about is the fact that the personal lubricants, which drugstores sold over eighty million dollars worth in 2008, contain chemicals commonly used in oven cleaner and antifreeze.

Okay then…unless you and you’re “significant other” retreat to the bedroom with a bottle of oven cleaner when you go to do it, I’m figuring you’re probably pretty safe.

The greenos also whine about some plastic products containing phthalates, which has apparently caused premature puberty in girls and low sperm count in boys. Tell me this: why are underage children using this product in the first place? HMMM???

Alternatives to these plastic products are made from mahogany (WTF?), stainless steel (ouch!) and… glass. That products should say on the label: "Falling down is vehemently discouraged while using product."

In the end, it shows you that the enviro-whackos are everywhere… even between your sheets.

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Current Hemerrhoid



Peeps flocked to the National Press Club to see none other than Fmr. Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich at a book signing for his memoir "The Governor", with hundreds of different authors.

There were quite a few people in attendance just to speak to him, and several wanted to ask him about his relations with Sen. Obama and other questions that I highly doubt he would've answered. Among those who in attendence were big names like Ann Coulter, Helen Thomas,and Kinky Friedman. But he didn't show.

But then Bill McCarren, the NPC general manager, dropped a bomb on their hopes.

"[Blagojevich] had a scheduling problem, which we found out about at ten o'clock this morning, and a lot of people expected to see him, but he's not here."

Okay, I don't believe that for an instant. Sorry, but I don't. There were a whole bunch of people there ready to ask him questions about him, his book, and other things, and he suddenly "couldn't make it".

Glenn Selig, Blago's publicist, he was honored to have been invited, but was not able to make it due to traveling delays related to some random unknown TV project that we quite conveniently have never heard of. Riiight.

Not showing up for an important book signing is a blow, 'butt' it doesn't make him what you'd call dangerous. So, Blago wins the title of this weeks hemorrhoid.

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Victim of the Week



This issue: REAL VICTIM

Sarah Palin's new book 'Going Rouge' has gotten people up in arms. She has been making talk show circles with the likes of Oprah and Katie Couric, and has been a common face on the media.

Her book gives her account of the 2008 presidential campaign, and it has some pretty harsh things to say about a lot of McCain staffers.

While her and her quotes are getting around a lot, she's a one-woman band, getting slammed from many different sides around the media.

For example, Newsweek magazine placed her on the cover of a recent issue. But look at it.

Palin commented on her Facebook page, "The choice of photo for the cover of this week's Newsweek is unfortunate. When it comes to Sarah Palin, this "news" magazine has relished focusing on the irrelevant rather than the relevant. The Runner's World magazine one-page profile for which this photo was taken was all about health and fitness - a subject to which I am devoted and which is critically important to this nation. The out-of-context Newsweek approach is sexist and oh-so-expected by now. If anyone can learn anything from it: it shows why you shouldn't judge a book by its cover, gender, or color of skin. The media will do anything to draw attention - even if out of context."

The LA Times fondly describes Palin as "the GOP's blessing and curse". While the title sounds like it could be an objective, two-sided article... it's not. Not at all. The first paragraph lists Palin's pros as being "the one who popularized the notion that Democrats advocated 'death panels' as part of their healthcare plan", and "Palin's endorsement of Doug Hoffman [of New York's 23rd Congressional District]... helped force a popular moderate Republican politician, Dede Scozzafava, from the race."

While I agree, these are pros, these are the only pros that are listed. Not to mention that Palin's mention of "death panels" is obviously not fondly looked upon by the Times.

The next paragraph is dedicated to quotes from "conservatives", blasting Palin. The listed "conservatives" are New York Times columnist David Brooks, simply because he wrote fondly of the moderate McCain, Peggy Noonan (*gag cough cough wheeze*), and Steve Shmidt, a man whom takes quite a bit of heat from Palin in "Going Rouge".

Reading through a fairly misleading article from The Brisbane Times (Australia), it mentions an incredibly interesting paragraph.

"A new ABC-Washington Post poll finds that Mrs Palin remains a deeply polarising figure who may be unelectable: only 5 per cent of Democrats would definitely vote for her, and only 19 per cent would consider it. Among crucial independent voters, Mrs Palin also faces resistance: 50 per cent said they definitely would not vote for her."

Please tell me why this is such a bad poll? Did those Aussies down-under forget that Palin is the REPUBLICAN candidate? I think 24% potential votes from the opposite camp it's pretty damned amazing, don't you?

The father of Sarah Palin's grandchild, Levi Johnston, had some "interesting" things to say about Palin in an issue of Vanity Fair in October. But what's really splashing across the news is his credibility: He just made the centerfold in a recent edition of Playgirl magazine. Another magazine, this one gay, Unzipped, leaked that he may just pose for them as well.

His posing for pretty pictures doesn't actually disprove any of what he said about Palin in Vanity Fair. It does tell us a bit about his character, though.

But perhaps the worst article comes from The Wall Street Journal.
The first paragraph is made up only of this, "Maybe in their business lives, conservatives are the stern, unforgiving masters of capitalist lore. But when it comes to politics, oh, do they love a whiner!"

Describing "Going Rogue", it writes, "This is the memoir as prolonged, keening wail, larded with petty vindictiveness."

Sarah is fighting back, which is exactly what she should do. I watched her interview with Oprah, and it honestly seemed like she did just fine. Especially because if she hadn't, it would be all over the headlines. What is all over the headlines is her remark on Levi Johnston's porn, calling it "heartbreaking".

Regardless, there's no way Sarah deserves all the negative media she's receiving. Although, it's understandable. A liberal always insults when it's scared. That's how you can tell it apart from the ring-tailed lemur and other rodents.

Monday, November 16, 2009

Idiots & Patriots



THE IDIOT

Lady Bird Johnson had environmentalism.
Betty Ford had breast cancer.
Rosalynn Carter had mental health.
Nancy Reagan had schoolyard drugs.
Barbara Bush had adult illiteracy.
Hillary Clinton had health care.
Laura Bush had childhood reading.

Now, it's time for Michelle Obama to choose her pet project: mentoring high-school-age girls.

Sounds like a noble cause, right?

It's a little bit vague on 'exactly' what will be taught, but Susan Sarandon is involved... this can't be good.

The mentoring program will begin in Denver, Colarado. But I must question this statement of the POLITICO article speaking on this issue. The article states, "East Wing aides said that Denver was chosen because it has such a diverse population of young women. According to U.S. Census Bureau 2008 estimates, 34.4 percent of this city’s population is Hispanic, 10.1 percent is black or African-American, and 3.4 percent is Asian."

That's very interesting... except for the fact the there's nothing to back up the claim of a "diverse population of young women." Giving the U.S. Census estimates of Denver's racial diversity has nothing to do with it's gender diversity.

Yes, I know that has nothing to do with the Idiot, but it bothers me. Either the reporter made a mistake, or there's some kind of cover-up over why Denver was really chosen. Although, it's a pretty bad cover-up.

Either way, because I know so little about Michelle Obama's mentoring platform, I will call it neutral. No reason for her to be the Idiot yet.

However, the POLITICO article quotes Myra Gutin, a first lady historian at Rider University. “She’s the celebrity first lady who is focusing on a number of different things right now, and there may be a lot of wisdom in that. Maybe she realizes that she can multitask..."

Gutin proclaims this multitasking to be some sort of monumental feat. However, Laura Bush had several issues to her name, and every other first lady since Lady Bird Johnson has had multiple issues surrounding them.

It's this that makes Michelle Obama the Idiot here. She has not yet accomplished anything, and her mentoring program doesn't even sound like it is going to do much, and yet she's being praised and recognized as making a move on history. Huh...

THE PATRIOT

Okay, yes, I know there are two people there... bear with me!

Carrie Budoff Brown and Chris Frates were the authors of a hard-hitting article in POLITICO, slamming health care reform.

They raise some excellent points about the health care debate, read the article to see more. I couldn't credit just one of them for writing the article, so I had to include both! I don't want to offend my Patriots!

I am actually not going to give you my spin on this article today. Why? Well... because I don't want to. Brown and Frates have done that enough for me. I'm just pointing you to the article.

Are Brown and Frates the first to discover the health care fallacies? Of course not. They are also not the first to give a profile on them. But they are who I have chosen. They laid the article well and perhaps informed many people of the health care problems. For this, Brown and Frates are co-patriots.