Enviro-Formula

Whenever you hear something out of the mouth of an environmentalist whacko, you have to realize that they are sad. I betcha that vegetarians wish they could savor a nice, juicy steak every once in a while instead of munching on tofu. But, they love animals too much. They envy your wonderful life, and since they can’t have it, neither can you. So, they are envious of you.
They've decided that they must protest in order to make themselves feel better. Throwing rocks at whaling boats, hugging trees in the nude, or passing out anti-hamburger literature, it has to stop us. All envy.
Now, here’s the weird one: irony. But, it is very ironic when you stop to think about it! The biggest whacko behind the eco-movement, Al Gore, is a has-been veep and a failed prez candidate. His political career has got to be finished, so, he turns to his whole global warming scheme.
What else is ironic? Well, it’s ironic when People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) workers kill 300 dogs and throw them in trash dumpsters. It’s ironic when the Humane Society of the United States (HSUS) picks up 1300 dogs and euthanizes all but 11 of them. It’s ironic when treehuggers cling to their tall, wooden leafed structures in the nude, and then wonder why their getting so little attention. It’s ironic when a solar-powered porta-potty is created, then it stops working because it freezes over.
Finally, environmentalism is only 0.1% mental. These people don’t think at all! “A rat is a pig is a dog is a boy. They’re all mammals.” This philosophical statement was said by Ingrid Newkirk, top dog of PETA. She compares a boy to a rodent. Betcha she wouldn’t feel that way if she had kids. There’s no thought to their lunacy.
For instance, when did it become a crime to own an SUV, or even drive one? Oh, I know! When Laurie David was old enough to drive!
This Hollywood eco-chick pulls alongside Hummers at red lights and yells at the occupants. She’s put tickets on the windshields of gas-guzzlers. I see her as someone with waaay to much time on her hands.
But, she contradicts herself almost worse than Al Gore himself.
If Ms. David took one trip from New York to LA in that private jet of hers, she’d eat enough fuel for the average Hummer to go a year. Her big old Beverly Hills mansion consumes enough energy in a year that it could probably light South America for a few years. People who live in glass mansions shouldn’t throw stones!
But, Laurie is just the TIP of the ice cube.
Global warming is the most monotonous, stupid, annoying, lie-accepted-as-truth that has ever been uttered from the face of liberals. I could go on and on about how wrong an un-factual it is, but I won’t. I’ll just tell you this: Fill a bowl with ice. Now, fill it with water until it’s brimming. Let the ice melt. You will find that the bowl hasn’t even spilled out. Oops! New York hasn’t been flooded today! Let’s try again tomorrow!
Al Gore’s movie, An Inconvenient Truth, is actually just an inconvenient lie. Innocent, fluffy, white polar bears are just dangling off of icebergs helplessly; wastelands and chunks of ice splashing into the ocean… all lies. Utter lies. And yet, people in Sweden, Finland, and several other pathetic European countries, are forced by the government to watch it as if it were truth. Some American schools are even forcing their children to watch the movie of lies.
Sometimes, I wish Laurie would yell at me for driving a Ford Explorer, or Al Gore would force me to watch his film of lies without popcorn. I’d eat them alive. Unless they gave me popcorn…
There’s an easy way to stop Laurie’s problem with SUV’s. Two words: offshore drilling. OOH! Here’s another brilliant solution! Drill in ANWR.
We can solve Al Gore’s ignorance, too. No, wait. That’s impossible. Sorry, never mind.
Remember, global warming is a bald-faced lie. But, the backers ARE liberals. Anything that is uttered out of their mouths is a bald-faced lie.
So, never forget the formula! 90% envy + 9.9% irony + 0.1% mental = environmental.